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ethmongul
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Posted: Sun Apr 19th, 2009 01:34 pm |
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As the dawn approched,Zazzdakka looked up into the sky and smiled.There would be no sunrise today.There would not be anymore sunrises on his planet if he had anything to say about it.The cloud of debris his army had created,covered all of the planet.The mop up of the last human presence here had been a hard campaign,but fruitful.He looked down at the barren wasteland in front of him and grinned.
The field was absolutely devoid of any kind of life,save the thousands of orks milling about.They were busy preparing for the final assault upon the last bastion of resistance on the planet.Huge warmachines towered over battalions of orks.There was the constant hammering and screeching noises. Noises that Zaz hoped,was putting fear into his enemies.He had long ago captured the last imperial outpost and had thusfar sliced through the imperial comunication network.As far as he knew,all the imperials could get from their communicators, was the constant gibberish that Winky was barking into it.Zaz's smile grew wider.
Orks had come from off planet to join the Waagh,and it was this brand of violence that had brought the mighty Ghazkul here to join in the upcoming slaughter Zaz had perpetuated.The meeting between the two warlords had been something of a success.Ghazkul towered over Zazzdakka, and Zaz had thought that the huge ork would obliterate him upon first glance.However,Ghazkul related that it was a vision from Mork and Gork that had brought him here,and that he was to follow Zazzdakka's leadership for this battle.
This meeting put the ork army into a frenzy.They had ripped through the imperials like butter since that day,and to Zaz's surprise,had created a rift in the imperial resistance.There were rumors that there was a revolt happening inside the capital city,and that the defenders were not prepared for the coming attack.This rumor of disarray was all Zaz needed,and he had been using his skills as an orator to good effect in his speeches to the orks.They were ready to plunge into the city and destroy all in their path.
Zaz,himself,couldn't wait.
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ethmongul
Super Moderator
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Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 01:06 pm |
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The building shuddered as a tremendous blast tore off the top of it and sent fragments of rockcrete into the air.The guard platoon hunkered in the hole they had dug in the street."This is getting out of hand."Trooper Renik sighed,"You'd think that the whole world is falling down around us."he muttered under his breath.Enfuego Prime,the capital city of Enfeugo,had come under siege by the huge ork presence on this planet,and the city was ripping itself apart.
Trooper Renik had joined the city's army regiment two years before and had been fighting the orks ever since his release from basic training on the southern part of the planet.This base he had trained in had fallen first to the orks some time ago.His platoon had been backing up ever since.The imperial presence on this planet had been pretty much smashed and the reminants had been herded back into the capital city.
Not only that,but it seemed that the local cells of chaos had reared their ugly heads,and the city was in the throws of turmoil.This was getting out of hand.The orks were amassing out in the fields for a final charge and it didn't seem that the planetary governer was about to do anything about it.
Then a message came through on the coms net,"Retreat back to the main hive tower."The platoon seargent got them moving, and within an hour,they were inside the huge structure with hundreds of other guardsman.The planetary govener was on a podium making a speech.
"Evacuation proceedures are underway,and we have gotten word from at least three space marine chapters for help in the evacuation,"he shouted.There was a great cheer from the crowd."All we have to do is stop the orks from getting into the tower.""We will be making our last stand here,so make it count,There will be titan support dropping in to help within the hour,and we have stymied the heritic movements enough to get us all off planet."More cheers."But we have to hold,so fight with the spirit of the emperor and we will survive this onslaught.""The emperor protects!"
The platoon was signalled to the top of the tower and they waited.The sky filled with streaks of fire,as hundreds of drop pods came down into the defenders positions.Trooper Renik had never seen such a light show and he was relieved for the first time in many months.He saw the Astartes formations and the huge titans getting ready for the upcoming clash.
Out on the plains there was the noise of hundreds of orks milling about,and then it stopped.There was a hush across the field as the cloud of debris floated into the city.The imperials stopped their preparations for a moment and looked out into the field.The silence was deafening and trooper Renik was instilled with a moment of fear."This was it,"he thought.
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Wolf Man
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Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 03:09 pm |
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And here you are, always saying you can't write well. Bah! I'll never believe such jibberish again!
It isn't Charles Dickens or anything, but as an original Ethmongul work, it's very good.
Nice job Dale.
Last edited on Mon Apr 20th, 2009 03:09 pm by Wolf Man
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Lord Bran Redmaw
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Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 04:54 pm |
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The council of Daemon Lords
There were 8. There were always 8 lords at he council of the night before an invasion. At the head same Fateweaver, Tweentch's Oracle, his twin beaks mumbling strands of change and happenstance. It was impossible to tell which mouth spoke the truth, so the remainder of the lord chose to heed the head that spoke of harvest of many greenskin souls, they burned so brightly in the warp.
Next around the table sat Ku'gath, Papa nurgles favored son. Nurglings scuttled across his bulk in such numbers than it reminded the council of green stinking desert winds. Every now and then K'ugath would pluck a nurgling and stare at it and then taste it. If he approved of the disease it carried it was passed to the next daemon at the concil, Epidemus, the tallyman.
Next came the twins, Goreswell and Rendfury. The two barely held there rage in s check. The air was startuated with there hate and bloodlust. If not for Khorn's order of peace within the army, these two would have fallen of there fellow daemons and torn then asunder.
Next sat a Great Unclean of of unknown origins. There we notyet legends written about this one. Perhaps tomorrow would be his day.
Off to the side sat Skulltaker. He had arragned his cloak of skull to form a throne of sort. His rage was in check. He had mastered it during his time as his patrons chief executioner. However on the field he was a whirlwind of demise.
At long last the conicils leader soared in and dropped from the skys. Itzan the Mistress of Seduction scuttled into the cirlce. She began to girate slow and rythmically on the stray tendrils of the word. All at once she spoke to each of the daemons, singing there praises, making them appreciate the skill of the other council memebers. She had forged them into a spear tip. And she had pointed it right at Zazzdakka. She dispised the upstart Warboss for is cowardence. She wanted his soul.
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Wolf Man
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Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 06:36 pm |
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OMG. I think I've found my next candidate for grammar and spelling assistance! 
"There", "Their", and "They're", please my fellow nerds and geeks, learn the difference.
This is good fluff. I love the imagery of the Demon council sitting around preparing for war against Zazzdakka. Just one proof-read would make this ten times better. As it is currently written, however, it's difficult to read. You don't want your fluff to be difficult to read, since most people don't really care about it in the first place.
(I love it though.) 
Nobody expects perfection, but read through your own stuff at least one time before posting.
I liked this line:
Lord Bran Redmaw wrote:
If he approved of the disease it carried it was passed to the next daemon at the concil, Epidemus, the tallyman.
Hey Mistah Tally Man,
Tally Me Nurgle Demonnnnnnssss...
"Daylight come an' me wanna go home." 
Sorry for being the resident writing critic. Some things just get under my skin that way.
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ethmongul
Super Moderator
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Posted: Mon Apr 20th, 2009 06:39 pm |
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Thank you sir,that's a very nice thing to say.(even though my writing skills aren't even close to good. )
Anyho,about this post.I made this one up to get the flava goin for the game on sat.It's good to see other people jumping in and being creative with this.
The post is open to anybody who wants to get the soup thicker for the game.I will be posting more as we get closer,and I hope more peeps do too.
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Lord Bran Redmaw
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Posted: Tue Apr 21st, 2009 12:34 am |
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ill be sure to forward all my papers to wolf man in the future.
Seriously ty.
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ethmongul
Super Moderator
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Posted: Tue Apr 21st, 2009 01:00 pm |
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The upcoming charge was just days away.Zazdakka had gotten his tribe to begin the chant and he could see that it was taking its toll on the defenders.He was about to signal the charge when the long howl of a trumpet blasted across the field.There was a mob of orks heading for his position,blowing on brass horns.Zazzdakka growled as he saw the banner of that git Wizgrot moving into his camp.
Wizgrot had joined up with Gravedigga's forces in the last major battle on Enfuego,and suprisingly, had done well.Granted, Gravedigga and Wizgrot were two of the only survivors of that engagement, but that didn't count.The battle was won and that's all that matters with orks.Zaz had never actually met Wizgrot before and was not going to enjoy this meeting.
As a huge warbike came zooming up to Zaz's standard,there was a hush across the field.Zaz cordially invited the new warboss into his tent and screamed,"Wat's ares ya's stoppin fer,keep bangin on da damn drums ya gits!"The chant began again.
Wizgrot actually drove the warbike into the tent,smashing the wartable to the dust,and scattering grots everywhere."Ok,boss,Where ya wants us."came over an amplified voice box.Zaz went into a fury,"Git yer stoopid butt over on dat side of da field,ya stoopid git!"Which brought a silince in the tent."Yous shuldn't be tawkin to me's like dat!"Wizgrot muttered through the box."Git da 'ell outa me tent,an get over dere!" Zaz screamed at him again.Zaz's powerklaw ignited with a flourish as he said,"We's be needen ya's over on dat side'o'da field,an I'es would apreshiate you doin dat,"Zaz waved his klaw in the southern general direction."If we's is gonna beats dem damn 'umies down,ya's gots to gets over dere."Zaz could see that the guns on the bike began to glow,and he thought that there would be violence in the tent.He finished with,"Me vishon from Mork an Gork tells me dat ya needs ta be over dere,NOW!"and he slammed his fist into a passing gretchin,pulping the unfortunate grot into sauce.He turned to Wizgrot with an evil grin.Wizgrot's engines ignited and he sped out of the tent with maps flying around in the air.
Zaz watched from the tent as Wizgrot joined his contingent of orks, and sped off in the direction Zaz had told him to go.Zaz was feeling the creep of impending doom come over him,but with a flick of his wrist,he smashed another grot,and started to feel better.
Meanwhile, the gretchin Wizgrot,shuddered in his bike seat.He had been feeling anxious about that first meeting with Zazzdakka,especially since his joint effort with Gravedigga had gone so well.He so wanted to bash in Zazzdakka's ugly head with his own superklaw,but he was glad that he didn't do it.Now he could fight without worring about Zaz's forces getting in the way of his plans.He wanted to be the leader of this movement,and he was pretty sure that Zazzdakka wasn't going to survive this battle.After the nice way Zaz had spoken to him to get what he wanted Wizgrot to do,Wizgrot knew now that Zazzdakka Skullsmasha was weak.
Wizgrot smiled evilly and went to his encampment to prepare.
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ethmongul
Super Moderator
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 01:00 pm |
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A mighty explosion went off in space as the Eldar ships tore into another ork spacecraft.Inside the cockpit,the leader of the fighter squadron sighed.These orks were a menance to everything honorable.Their ships and flying skills were no match for the skills of the Eldar,but they continued to prosper somehow.He just couldn't figure it out.
The signal light to come back to the craftworld ship blipped on.This was strange,because there were plenty of enemy in space still,and he wanted to raise his kill count higher.Reluctantly,he gave the signal to his squadron to make for the craftworld.As his ship banked around,he could see the majestic craftworld ship in the distance just floating there,looking like paridise.
It took minutes to get the ship docked,and when he was finally authorized to get out,he flew out of the cockpit and rushed to the main sanctom.It turned out to be a difficult thing to do,because every other inhabitant of the craftworld was massing in front of the holy building.He waited paitently for the Farseer to address the crowd.
Soon enough,the main doors to the structure opened and out walked the entire council of Farseers.One spoke in an ominus voice."The orks that we have been chasing around this system have congragated on this planet." A huge pictoral of light emerged in the air around the crowd. There was a highlighted area of a planet not too far from where they were floating. "The menance Zazzdakka, has begun massing his army on this planet.This is the chance we have been waiting for to crush the greenskins and end this uprising before it becomes too large to stop." He told the crowd. "All craft have been recalled for this attack and we will be going to the planet wholesale." There was a silence to the crowd. "Because of the cloud of debris on the planet,we will not be able to use our fightercraft,and will have to fight alongside the mon-keigh on the planet." This made some of the eldar in the crowd wince and others get a wonderous look. Most of them had never even seen a human before,let alone fight alongside them. "We will be summoning our ancestors,and requesting help from the warp for this battle," continued the aged one. "We request that you all prepare for the upcoming battle."
The crowd dispersed to their homes waiting for the jump into the warp.As the huge doors closed,the Farseer council went to the altar and began preparations for the summoning process to begin.They would need all of their resources in the upcoming battle,and sill more preparations needed to be made.The Farseer only hoped it would be enough.
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Wolf Man
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 01:18 pm |
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Not sure if you're writing this stuff in another program and then pasting it here, but there are no spaces after your punctuation. It's... annoying. 
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Brother Tiberius
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 01:57 pm |
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Wolf Man wrote: Not sure if you're writing this stuff in another program and then pasting it here, but there are no spaces after your punctuation. It's... annoying.
James Joyce wrote The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and William Faulkner wrote the Sound and the Fury in the same way, often described as stream of conciousness writing.
Frankly, this is more interesting than either one of those books.
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Pen dull
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 03:05 pm |
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ethmongul wrote: "We request that you all prepare for the upcoming battle."
I'm not criticizing at all, I think this is brilliant. Who else but an Eldar would "request" that his soldiers prepare for battle? No orders, just asking nicely!
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Wolf Man
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 03:08 pm |
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Brother Tiberius wrote: James Joyce wrote The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and William Faulkner wrote the Sound and the Fury in the same way, often described as stream of conciousness writing.
Frankly, this is more interesting than either one of those books.
That's fine... but no less annoying.
Considering that the current debate among desktop publishers (and others) is one of a single space or a double space after sentence completion, I don't think it's too much to ask that at least the single space gets used.
It's all about readability. I like that people are getting into writing fluff for their 40k games. I think it adds to the overall experience of the hobby. And I attempt to offer constructive criticism so that others will read and enjoy what we do here rather than struggle through the first few sentences and think, "geh, this is annoying to read".
Through all my bitching... er.... i mean... "constructive criticism" we still have the following descriptive titles on the front page of this forum:
"Where not in Kansas anymore toto"
"All the gaming team up to go set up tables meet people here."
"The Dieing will still kick you ass"
I look around at some of the other 40k Forums from time to time, and I think we are one of the better ones. If we could get away from the "lolcat" grammar usage, we'd be even better.
"i can has cheeseburger?"
Again - this is an attempt to make our fluff more popular with our own members as well as anyone else who may be lurking/reading. That's all. I am loving the stories!
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Lord Bran Redmaw
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 03:47 pm |
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i think there is probably a grammar nazi support group somewhere.
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Wolf Man
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 04:43 pm |
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I know. I need help. I blame my older brother.
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Brother Tiberius
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 06:29 pm |
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Today my boss said, "Mute Point"
To which I immediately throught, "moot point" and recalled Wolf Man's diatribe on that about 2 years ago...
It's amazing how much D Company history is crammed in this brain, and what I might have done with that computing power had I filled it with something else.
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D Company: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone hands you a shovel...
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ethmongul
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 06:57 pm |
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For the record, I did go back and space before and after "quotes" parts of the stories.
Critique is fine with me. I welcome it.
So................ about the writers dispute. Is it one space or two spaces after punctuation? Or maybe it should be a space before and after punctuation on this site ?
Whichever you like an I'll dooooo it lad !
Make sure you get Sean Connery's voice in your head while reading that last part.
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Brother Tiberius
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 07:08 pm |
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ethmongul wrote: For the record, I did go back and space before and after "quotes" parts of the stories.
Critique is fine with me. I welcome it.
So................ about the writers dispute. Is it one space or two spaces after punctuation? Or maybe it should be a space before and after punctuation on this site ?
Whichever you like an I'll dooooo it lad !
Make sure you get Sean Connery's voice in your head while reading that last part.
2 spaces after punctuation.
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Brother Silas
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 08:07 pm |
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Brother Tiberius wrote: ethmongul wrote: So................ about the writers dispute. Is it one space or two spaces after punctuation? Or maybe it should be a space before and after punctuation on this site ?
.
2 spaces after punctuation.
Yes. Two spaces is pretty standard in everything I've seen.
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Pen dull
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Posted: Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 09:15 pm |
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Brother Silas wrote: Brother Tiberius wrote: ethmongul wrote: So................ about the writers dispute. Is it one space or two spaces after punctuation? Or maybe it should be a space before and after punctuation on this site ?
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2 spaces after punctuation.
Yes. Two spaces is pretty standard in everything I've seen.
I vote two spaces, along with the MLA writer's handbook.
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"How is that even possible?!?"- Milkman
"Everybody can take all summer to build one flyer a piece.... Bam instant flying retard fest." - joe
"When you die, I'm gonna cry a little." - Derling
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